A break in the spell I've been having,
instead of the blood rushing round my head
the thrum in my right ear when I lie on that side,
I'm almost asleep and will only wake for the
bathroom.
Otherwise I'm vaguely annoyed,
or just blank, in shock, in recognition that
this is how I react to things now: my heart
certainly switches up at night because what
if this is just how I react to things now,
that how much water I drink in this dryness
is not what keeps me up at night, is less
than a night trying to summon sympathy for men
coming of age around men.
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