I clambor on,
high-fiving my soulmates.
We meet each other where we are:
at the palm of our hands.
Rainbows are not stupid. The moon
is not stupid, rain
is not stupid The forest is not stupid
Earth is not stupid.
You are stupid lmaoooooo
Real talk DUMBASS
you absolutely started it
what you clock as contempt
is fury at your persistent brutality
oh suddenly you can't hear me lol well I'll say it clearly anyway
I encourage you to appreciate your strength
By learning to defend what’s precious
if you can destroy, you can protect so can you please
try to boggle my heart instead of turning on
an endlessly predictable spiral
of exploding at anyone who doesn't reaffirm
that you are weak
The message will continue until
your skull cracks open and the truth
pours in like a melted diamond lmfao
I really am gonna try to go off, because I want to see if I can catch as much air
as this fantastic skiier I know who is such a good actor and can fly anywhere,
probably. I've only known him for a couple hours and for a couple hours before that,
and then his poems, and his friendships that are my friendships too but from another angle.
What a world where we know each other so intimately before looking
each other in the eye. I know it's contra versh but I don't mind it, if it's good.
I love that I get to see some of your stuff before I see your eyes. I guess.
Love might be too strong a word for some or for most. Love love love though.
I'm angry at the fear of it, which is the fear of it, of course. I breathe through
the impatience on the white dove of my breath that sails back down to land,
after my anger makes me Icarus, or almost. I've been Icarus. The sun
was embodying the change of another. That'll burn your wings, baby!
Anyway. I had a beautiful evening and I loved the way J felt, deeply present.
And I was there too, or struggling to be. It's so amazing how far away I go
because to be close to it
is to lose it constantly.
My face / the afternoon sunlight emblazoned
the living room / gentle solo piano slowly turned
And the green plants grow. They are loved by water.
Owen sent me a link about a fight.
Tom Wolfe v Irving//Mailer/Updike.
I googled who's dead. All but Irving.
a pot of genmaicha arose / as a genius.
I scrambled up to make it.
An afternoon as fragile as a bubble.
I recognize leisure
A wave gently unrolling
The golden light, the passing glance of warmth,
The sunlight deliriously received
before fading into someone else’s
hemisphere.
I want to receive money and fruit from loved ones.
Safety and security are not locked in a treasure chest
at the bottom of a sunken ship.
My desires create pleasure.
For example I want a strawberry cheesecake.
I can create desire.
For example I have a strawberry cheesecake.
I have a river running through the woods
in the evening when the light is gold and soft.
I want to go sit alongside the river running through the woods
in the evening when the light is gold and soft
with the cheesecake.
My reality is difficult to sense.
Over time, my loved ones slowly clothe and feed me.
I don't know what to make of it.
But I am on the case.
The grizzled rat
remembers cheese.
He blames the cat
for his disease.
The cat herself
remembers rat.
She blames herself
for what begat.
The cheese
is all alone again.
And now I can
put down my pen.
I really LOVE YOU,
I'm at a point where I FEEL ENERGY,
AND I'M SO GLAD THAT I DO.
I'm GRATEFUL
for a PLACE TO BE AS BIG AS I AM.
I ACTUALLY HAVE A LOT OF SPACE TO BE A PLANET.
I AM AWARE THAT MANY DO NOT.
I AM AWARE THAT I WANT TO TAKE UP SPACE NOW HERE
ON THE PAGE BECAUSE
AS AN EXPERT ON SPACE (AS I AM IN IT, CONSTANTLY)
SPACE CAN HANDLE IT AND I'M SO GRATEFUL
FOR A MOMENT TO RELAX INTO MY HUGENESS
FOR I AM HUGE. I AM A PLANET OF MATTER.
In my hugeness I would like to say thank you.
Thank you, and have a wonderful night! I'm so big
I can be a part of day and night at the same time.
Conceive of me, and conceive of wholeness.
Or don't, loser!
it used to feel good
to go nowhere. I
would actually go very high.
My body would be gently
moved in oneness. Back
and forth through space.
I would let go and jump
off through the air. Nothing
could hurt me. I know
that's still true. I know
where I used to swing.
I appreciated it at the time.
I can swing like that now,
I just have to hang on
to what's moving and staying.
And then let go.
They must have let me down
because I was too heavy.
It's hard to name my needs.
Knowledge bears a fruit
so heavy they'll kick me out of Eden.
Which is where I am?
Paradise?
This doesn't feel like paradise,
so what harm could the truth do?
If it's not paradise,
the truth won't get me kicked out.
Knowledge only kicks me out of Heaven.
Ignorance is bliss.
If I'm not in heaven, the truth can't bring me
any further away from it.
So let me go ahead and make sure
I know where I am before I admit
I am so ready to eat and be eaten
it hurts.
What a calamity of spirit.
Your soul crashes against all the other souls in the room,
like we're pots and pans.
Well God said slow down. No for real
I said slow down cause surprise I'm God
And you're God too cause we're all God
Or whatever. God is talking to Yourself, blah blah.
So GOD SAID, slow down. Please.
Cause I got a wand too bro, like, For Real. Watch this. (fire)
So like. Don't trip. I'm serious. You could get hurt.
And You're annoying the fuck
out of me, and I'm ready to fight about it
But can't you just read the room
and take two seconds to not be the Thing
that everyone has to take care of? Like
Where Are You? Obviously not here.
Or you'd be here by now. Instead of a million miles
Too fast in the other direction, waiting for someone
to tell you the speed limit. You want a cop!
Well you're gonna get a mirror. And you're gonna
figure that out sooner or later. Oh my
God I have to do the same thing. Why is this
happening to me again. Touche, psycho.
Alright. Someone help Me
get back up on the cross.
Say you’ll never give up
When the times get rough
If you’re in my arms
Baby love is enough
No matter the changes we go through
We can make it together
If I ever give in
To the fear and doubt
Help me to remember
what love is about
When I look into your eyes I know it’s true
Babe, Our love is forever
Say you’ll never give up
And I’ll never give in
I sit beside the chapel on the hill,
I listen, but the bird has no remark.
The sunset, then, commits my soul to fill,
I watch the colors fade, and soon grow dark.
But even in the black i do not rise,
instead withdraw within my winter coat;
I let the phase of night adjust my eyes
and feel emotion crowding in my throat.
I listen to the sunset every night,
it shows my heart there is familiar change,
and as my eyes adjust to fading light,
perhaps my grief will also rearrange.
My lesson is a hope to rescue me,
Like driftwood makes a buoy in the sea.
what to do. Peacefully I munch
on the grass of the hour. Christmas
still wreathes my living room.
After I admit I don't know anything,
I am introduced to my desires.
The first one is to cry.
I feel it in my ribcage.
When I ask the feeling
"what's your name?"
it cries. I start crying.
"Great answer," I have to say.
You know I love greeting my feelings.
It's a way to connect to other people with feelings,
and there are more of those than they want you to think.
My sensations inspire their own transport.
I have to stop before I say something really stupid.
Ok basically I want to say:
If you feel it, you will build it.
If you build it, you will come.
it receives me warmly no matter my bull. Frothily I merge. I get to be a big baby.
I don't have proof of this, but I think the bath gently coaxes the parts of my body that are stuck. I don't believe I can relax in a bath. I have only been able to relax on dry land. But baths do soften.
They are promised by humans to each other when we get here. A bath is guaranteed. You're gonna get a bath alright. Whether you like it or not.
My life changed when I realized part of washing your hair is smelling the perfume and enjoying life, pretending to be a Greek goddess bathing under the waterfall with the nymphs the way I used to pretend to be a mermaid in the pool. You're meant to get lost in the myth of ritualistic washing. I began to anoint myself.
If this bath could talk, it'd say "i gotcha."
and "come on in."
Gracious bath. How does she do it?
Exhaustion is real,
the exhaustion I feel.
The exhaustion I feel
is real. I am sure you
know what I'm talking about.
It's our little secret.
Regardless, I release myself
and relax my entire back
against a mountain,
I am a giant and I lean back and
fold backwards over the peak.
I do it again and press my heels
against the earth, then lean my back
against the mountain and release
my hands down to meet the earth
on the other side.
Call it off! He's awful. He
doesn't see you. He doesn't like you.
He slows you down. He weighs you down.
He doesn't get it. He doesn't love you.
He is the embodiment of what you think
you need to tote around to survive.
When he looks at you, what does he see?
Ask yourself seriously, without hate.
Who are you to him? Are you the person who
embodies what he thinks he needs
to feel like he exists?
Why doesn't he think he exists?
Why don't you think you'll survive?
Baby, he exists. You will survive.
Both of these thoughts are so dangerous
that reality shimmers like hot asphalt
when you start to move like they are true.
I've walked barefoot over the truth too.
That's why I'll be there for you, and
then we can walk together
on a foundation that actually
has the nerve to support us.
