Clarity

Years are biennial, for now, the calendar looks deeply wrong,

my patina is less of a gradually acquired thing

and presents more like crust since I only I revisit it every two years, 

two years which were the old one year,

it was easier to seem dispassionate about

what the body is less likely to do when you could

explore it year by year.

And this has seeped in again, months after the boldest

moment of clarity -

I vowed I’d have no need for my body again,

would ask nothing of the vessel or even for one,

if the pair of you could just continue.

I didn’t climb up to that, and it came on so quickly,

I carry doubt anyone would. 

The actual moment of the decent thing done

inhabiting the body, showing it to the spirits,

saying it’s quite alright if thoughts don’t

seem to feel like their own.

That it’s been a long slow climb down is to be expected, 

you have to ease yourself back into the world, be open to

surprise, pick up ordinary gripes, be poured into,

all the while pouring.