so struck am i, in the thick of this flow
i wish to call you, tell you all, i want you
to know, we’re dancing in the splendor
and then the shift, particles apart present
beckons, elicits separation, and i sense
you elementally, icicles catching sun
i wonder if you’ve read sally rooney’s
“conversations with friends,” and thought
of us in bobbi and frances’s passionate
and expansive relationship (i did!) how,
in writing a short story about her friend,
frances realizes, she was the love of my life
i read about remedios varo and leonora
carrington and remember how you said,
one day outside of topos chicos when
i was terrified you’d yell at me for wanting
to go to grad school too, and you got angry
as i shielded myself from my imagining of
your potential attack with a spew of words
only to hurt you by taking up more than
my appropriate share (i’m sorry for doing
this, please know it's come from terror,
neurodivergence, excitement or some
combination) you were tender with
your future, wanting support, and there
i was, splooging from a place of fear
that had me short of breath and near
tears before you arrived to the table.
you forgave me, and i sat on your lap–
yes, THAT is when you said, re: earlier,
you truly believed they’d write about
us in the books, i said, “both of us?”
and you said, “how could they write
about one of us and not the other?”
i drew your face and pretty green
dress, strewn with pink and yellow
flowers and we decided to get a bottle
of rosé and go back to your house for
another night of loving each other yet.
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